I think I’m the clown.

I think I’m the clown.

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My “post-apocalyptic” apology

I would like to take this moment to apologize to all the people that made an unpleasant discovery upon stepping out onto their lawn or porch. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let’s just say that this is one batch of chocolate pudding Bill Cosby wouldn’t be proud of. Hmm, or maybe he would. Who knows. Anyhoo, I’m afraid to inform you that the mess you encountered was not a dog-made mound of disgrace as you might have suspected. It was human. 100% human pile of blasphemy and I am the culprit. Speaking of dogs, if you find a dead dog on your front porch, I apologize for that as well. And if you happen to run into Dog The Bounty Hunter (or as I call him when he’s not on the job, Dog The Friend) tell him I said “What’s up, Dog!?”. My point here is that I regret my actions and am truly sorry. I mean, anyone could get carried away by all this apocalypse mumbo-jumbo and that convincing “2012” documentary starring John Cusack didn’t help my situation. I know you folks can understand. In the meanwhile, I’m gonna go wash the taste of old farts out of my mouth.

Sincerely,
Ke(money sign)ha

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My brother and I trying to make plans for this 4th of July. Not sure what we’ll cook yet.

My brother and I trying to make plans for this 4th of July. Not sure what we’ll cook yet.

List of musical groups if the members were obese.

Taking Back Sundae, Buns N Roses, Food Fighters, The Strokes, The Chins, The Denny’s All-American Slam Rejects, Cholesterolplay, Cake , Limp Bisquick, Bob Farley and The Wailers, Strawberry Jam, The Jackson $5 Footlongs, The Red Velvet Cake Underground, Leave My Fries Alone Ok (LMFAO), The English Muffin Beat, The Lunch Specials, Rage Against The Vending Machine, and everyone’s favorite: Cinnabon Jovi

"Marty Block is in the house tonight. Everybody just have a good time. And he’s gonna make you lose your mind. Everybody just have a good time." -Marty Block Anthem

"Marty Block is in the house tonight. Everybody just have a good time. And he’s gonna make you lose your mind. Everybody just have a good time." -Marty Block Anthem

I will call it “Mini-Me…al”.

I will call it “Mini-Me…al”.

Personal foul. Very personal foul.

Personal foul. Very personal foul.

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I don’t know what these guys sound like, but by the look of the album cover I assume the track list would look something like this:

Ninjas be trippin’
Nunchuck Party
Techno up your ass 
Take your shirt off!
Someone’s gonna die tonight
Party til you puke (Andrew W.K.)
Dance or I’ll stab you
Break Dance Beat Down
Give me back my swords
Party on Stabwound Street
Blood & guts on the dance floor
Do the “Running Man”
Cop Killer (Body Count cover)
Dance or I’ll stab you (Remix)

I don’t know what these guys sound like, but by the look of the album cover I assume the track list would look something like this:

  1. Ninjas be trippin’
  2. Nunchuck Party
  3. Techno up your ass
  4. Take your shirt off!
  5. Someone’s gonna die tonight
  6. Party til you puke (Andrew W.K.)
  7. Dance or I’ll stab you
  8. Break Dance Beat Down
  9. Give me back my swords
  10. Party on Stabwound Street
  11. Blood & guts on the dance floor
  12. Do the “Running Man”
  13. Cop Killer (Body Count cover)
  14. Dance or I’ll stab you (Remix)

"What’s up, bros?"

"What’s up, bros?"